A list of things I am doing this weekend instead of being at Wave Gotik-Treffen

Hello all,

It is that time of year again... The time of year in which I get to see many wonderful blogs and vlogs from my favourite online gothic personalities, all flocking to Leipzig, Germany, for one of the big goth music festivals of the year, Wave Gotik-Treffen. This year (2018), there are 224 artists playing in many venues in the area, starting from the 18th of May and ending on the 21st.

And where will I be during this fantastic get-together of our massive macabre community?
Of course, sitting in my home, watching Youtube videos on how to cremate babies, because I am a broke art student trying to distract themself from all the wonderful instagram posts of WGT currently flooding my feed. If you are like me, and are not able to make it to these wonderful large goth festivals,  here is a list of things that I am doing this weekend instead, which you could take inspiration from if you wish.

1. Catching up on [goth] music released in the last year/months, or listening to bands that are playing at WGT

2. Adding unnecessary but aesthetically pleasing gothic items to my Amazon wishlist. (And also lots of books). I am broke and will never be able to afford any of this, but its nice to dream.

3. Staring listlessly out of my bedroom window, my view slightly obscured by the black sheer curtain which stops me from acquiring a sun tan.

4. Redying my hair and cleaning makeup brushes - All the little things that we usually ignore.

5. Going to a local goth event!! Thank you Boutique Creatures, Montreal, for helping distract me, and keep me in contact with my local goth community.

6. Planning my OWN goth event in the future - WATCH OUT!!

7. Listening to Cemetery Confessions podcast !

8. Hanging out in a local cemetery, preferably with snacks.

9. Making playlists/ mix CD's for all my ghoul pals.

10. Marathon episodes of "Elvira's Movie Macabre"

11. Writing sad poetry/making sad art about being unable to attend WGT.

... Well, those are all my ideas for now. I'll probably update again later.
Hope this helps, if you're a broke, bummed out goth sitting at home, just like me.

Thanks for reading! Sincerely,

The Agender Ageless One

Musing on Gothic Fashion & Gender Identity and Expression

Welcome, all ye who may be reading this!

In this blog post, I intend to reflect on my personal experiences as an agender goth with gender presentation issues; anecdotes provided by my lovely trans-faggy-long-boy roommate.

Firstly, I shall disclose that I am, as they call, "assigned female at birth", and therefore my struggle reflects that dynamic, but in no way encapsulates all experiences/opinions of others with similar identities. I cannot necessarily speak accurately to the experiences of people on the other side of the spectrum who are "assigned male at birth" trans people. I am an agender / sometimes non-binary individual who is currently not transitioning medically (hormones or surgeries) but I am considering going on testosterone in the future as well has having top surgery (mastectomy).

I've been "out" to myself and my friends/family as non-female since I was around 15 or 16 years old, and at that time I was also not quite into the goth scene yet. At that time, the only role models in the queer community presented to me in my experiences, were "masculine-of center", thin, white people, usually who had short haircuts and wear more masculine* clothing. So, I followed suit, assuming that the only way to protest my being labelled "female" by society, was to present myself in a more masculine way.
*Note: Here, I am depicting the idea of what masculine typically means within western society. I personally do not believe in labeling things in this way,  and will explain why, but do so in this post to make a point in contrasting what we deem masculine and feminine.

Once I had graduated high school, I started to get more into the gothic subculture and metal music. I had been into metal music since I was 13 but eased out of it for a few years in high school. As I immersed myself more and more into these scenes, and slowly met more like minded individuals, I had several realizations:

1. All of the male goth/metal icons that I had found attractive since I was young, were all very androgynous, which explained my attraction to them despite the fact that I am typically only interested in women. This made me re-examine the way I perceive my attraction to people, as I realized that it wasn't necessarily women that I was attracted to, but androgynous/feminine people. The people in bands that I thought were alluring usually wore makeup and lipstick, have long hair, gender-ambiguous body shapes/ feminine body shapes, and (in most cases) seemed to put more effort into their clothing choices, wearing large boots, blouses, even androgynous looking dresses and skirts. This made me re-examine how I labelled clothing as masculine or feminine, because in this context, the person wearing the clothing is [cis] male, therefore what is the gender of the clothing? He is not cross dressing, he is just dressing/presenting in a gothic manner...

  Dani Filth of Cradle of Filth, circa. 2004 -
He had dreads at this time which I do not support, for cultural appropriation reasons. 

Perttu Kivilaakso of Apocalyptica

You know who this is.

                                                         

Mana-Sama of Moi-Dix-Moi & Malice Mizer,
Who seems to draw a lot of inspiration from...

The Queen!!! Even Siouxsie is androgynous!

A message to all goths who dress in ways that affirms their gender

2. With the newfound realization of removing labels of masculine and feminine to clothing, I started to re-evaluate how I presented my own gender. As previously mentioned, I had always had short hair as a way of showing that I was not female. I was unnecessarily assuming that having long hair meant that I was female, and when I realized that I wanted to present myself as goth/metalhead as well, I started to grow my hair out, and I actually feel more and more confident in my gender presentation with long hair. Lots of [cis] male metalheads and goths have long hair, so why should my having long hair automatically make me a woman?

Furthermore, I began to re-acquaint myself with articles of clothing that I had forbidden myself from wearing throughout my high school years... skirts, dresses, form-fitting shirts, anything that I had considered too feminine. I am inspired by all of the gothic people who wear silk and taffeta blouses, long black velvet skirts, boots with high heels or platforms, and especially those who wear makeup!

     

Ian McCulloch of Echo and the Bunnymen, 1984 

All of these pieces of self-presentation lose their gender marker amongst goths, because they are worn by people of all genders. I have found solace in presenting myself as an androgynous, agender person through the goth subculture, and I know that I am not alone in doing so; my trans-faggy boy roommate has expressed to me similar opinions.

He grew up with role models such as Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, and not-necessarily-goth Boy George, Stevie Nicks, David Bowie, and most importantly, FRANK N FURTER. These are icons that have greatly influenced both of our personal style and gender expression habits and are a great mix of gender-queer weirdness. Long live goth gender deviancy!

Probably the first time I ever heard the term "transvestite" was from this film.

   

Witch style icon Stevie Nicks

         

Dave Vanien of The Damned in "New Rose" 

       

Anja Huwe of Xmal Deutschland

Next in my pondering on the androgyny and gender-blending within the gothic, I would like to state my hypothesis on why this occurs: firstly, traditional 80's goth style is derivative of the late 70's punk scene, but delving into a darker direction. It's relation with the attitude of punk is that both thrive on a need for something new, different, exciting, and most of all, being a reaction to the current political climate. The late 70's were a bleak time in Britain (according to many aspiring artists at the time such as Morissey, Johnny Rotten, and Peter Hook), but the 80's were a time for experimentation. Stars like David Bowie had led the way for artists and musicians to play with their gender presentation, and this grew in trend throughout the booming economy and open-mindedness of the 1980's. Goth fashion of the 1980's took punk's DIY, gender-neutral I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck attitude and added more black, more leather, more fishnets, and more teased, black hair. The style was for everyone regardless of gender - Anyone can pull of a Siouxsie-inspired makeup look*. At the inception of the trad goth style, you could put any person in the same outfit, and the only way to "know" the person's gender would be through assumptions made on the person's body shape (Which brings up more questions for another possible post on gender assumptions on an individuals perceived birth gender.) Regardless, this was the beginning of 40 years of awesome androgynous gothic fashion...

*That being said, there are certainly lots of people who try very hard to dress in a manner more specific to their gender identity, and there are lots of goth styles which can be very binary and extreme in their presentation of femininity and masculinity- This in itself can also be a great comfort to trans people who want to more concretely present themselves to the world as their true self!

Secondly, with the second and third wave of goth in the late 80's through to the late 90's, we see the emergence of Romantic, vampire, elegant, and aristocratic inspired goth fashion. These styles take influence from Baroque, Rococo, and Victorian decadence. Long hair on men in an elegant manner becomes more popular (perhaps in response to many attractive vampires being depicted with long hair - Thank you, Anne Rice!)

Rozz Williams fighting toxic masculinity!

Rozz was probably another big influence on the long-black-haired Gothic aesthetic.

This is extremely homo-erotic

As is this. Thank you Anne Rice!

Many of the "feminine" qualities that exist within goth fashion, especially mens goth fashion, would initially have been considered masculine, in a historical context. Interview with the Vampire is set in the late 1700's and early 1800s, (Around the Rococo period). During that time period, masculine attributes of the "habit à la française" were; having long hair, puffy blouses, jabot neck ties, breaches, waistcoats, and coats, all embellished with lavish and intricate embroidered motifs. Heeled shoes were also popular. This extravagant aesthetic only lasted until the end of the french revolution, and the 1830's saw the beginning of men's 3-piece suits, downplaying of colour and fabrics, and the beginning of the belief that caring about fashion was for the "weaker sex" (women). Around this time, flamboyancy in clothing also began to be associated with homosexuality, which had prior only been associated with one's bodily gestures and mannerisms rather than fashion. It is at this point that "mens" fashion and "womens" fashion separates, and thus draws a clearer binary that one must follow... In terms of hair, various cultures have their own timelines of hair trends, but within western culture, women started having longer hair as a status symbol, to show they were well taken care of. Men began cutting their hair short as it facilitated work and was easier to take care of and helped avoid health problems such as lice, fleas, and diseases. (However, women were allowed to have long hair because it proved that they were not at risk of such things due to having high status and being provided care.) Today, we have over a century of history in which the norm dictates men have short hair, and women have long hair. We have over a century of fashion norms that goths are now subverting.

  There are obviously many more historical influences that gothic fashion draws from throughout its nearly 40 years of existence, but that would necessitate a much longer blog post than I am currently able to write. It likely could end up being an entire PhD paper if given enough time and research! So for now I will conclude by saying that, by bringing back lavish fashions of the past and blurring the lines between genders in fashion, goths are able to subvert assumptions of both sexuality and gender, and hopefully in the future, use this subversion to bring attention to the ways we assume one anothers genders based on body types. I know I still secretly thrive for the thin silhouette associated with masculine/non binary representation, as it would mean better "passing" in the eyes of cisgender people.... But who am I to try to fit in with society and its expectations? What is goth if not an escape from the mundane reality and expectations of non-alternative culture? I will strive to continue being influenced by the "I dont care what you think!" attitude of the gothic sub culture, and continue exploring how I relate to and present my gender identity with goth fashion. I hope that some of you reading this will be able to understand and connect their own personal experiences to mine, and that we can continue to evaluate together how the gothic subculture interacts with gender and sexuality.

Until next time,

     Thank you for reading. Sincerely,

the Agender Ageless One

Brief Introductory Blog Post

Greetings fellow goth friends who have stumbled upon this blog space.


       I feel obligated to make a brief introductory blog post, in order to set my intentions for this blog so that both I and you know what to expect from the possible posts to come. (That is, if I stay true to my word of writing on this blog).

       On this blog, I intend to document my own experiences with the intersectional identity of being a goth metal-head, as well as a queer person (in gender and sexuality). I would like to document my real-life experiences, as well as ponder on hypothetical situations. I may also make blog posts relating to the experiences of fellow Gothic Bloggers and/or Youtubers here on the internet, and it is possible that I may even join in the fun of some of the Goth Tags that circulate in this cyberspace.   My posting format may vary from simple musings on a topic, to instructional/informational. I hope that you can at least somewhat enjoy the content I may put out.

      Furthermore, to whoever may read this, I hope you have come to this place with "perfect love and perfect trust", as they say in The Craft; This blog will not tolerate the prescence of any comments displaying the following:

                  Racism/Xenophobia, Misogyny, Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism, or use of               derogatory slurs.

     Thank you for heeding my warning.     
               
         With that said, this blog space is now consecrated under our Dark Lord's name. Welcome, and please enjoy yourself here.

Signed,
     The Ageless One   (Ness)